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Back in the ‘Pore. Jakarta was good. Will head back to the States in a little over two weeks. Hippies of the world, hate me! I’m sorry for accumulating a massive carbon footprint! Star Alliance, LOVE ME! You will find no one happier to ride your codesharing ass.

Posted on July 31st, 2008 by Antiguit

The picture above is of my old neighborhood; it was shot from the second deck of a bus I used to take to get from school to home. Since I graduated from there three years ago, my school has moved its campus to a different part of the island, and we have moved house twice.

You first realize you are not in America anymore when you no longer call it ‘America’ and refer to it as ‘the States.’ And then the little things get to you: the up-riding escalator is where the down-riding one should be, the kitchen sink has halved in size, and the soymilk that goes in your breakfast cereal comes in these strange, diminutive quart-sized boxes.

(There are these stickers on the boxes that proudly say “PRODUCT OF USA.” When you rip off the stickers, the original text below reads “LACTOSE FREE.” Apparently it’s more important knowing your soymilk comes from the U.S. than knowing it is a great milk substitute for people who are lactose intolerant. Ho ho.)

And the shopping! The clothes here are still tailored for goblins and small children; some things never change, I suppose. And this island is so…shiny. It doesn’t feel the way it did last time I was here six months ago (cue cheesy little ditty about nationalism and progress). It doesn’t feel like home anymore, which confuses me.

Off to Jakarta tomorrow, hopefully that remedies the big gaping hole in my emo soul (Sometimes I ooze with wit. This is not one of those times).

Posted on July 22nd, 2008 by Antiguit

1. Help! Does anybody know where I can find a poster-sized print of this? I don’t know the title of the piece, but I know that I love it and I must have it on pain of death!

2. I have these new curtains in my bedroom that match my sheets—a nice deep red color with a contrasting black sheer. They are wonderful and I love them and everything, but now my bedroom looks like the secret lair of Drusilla the Kinky Nympho of Southern Ohio. And it doesn’t help that my handcuffs (a gag gift, I SWEAR) raise even more suspicion!

3. I received this message in my Facebook inbox:

was browsing through and yr pic caught my eye. am looking for interesting women for companionship and hopefully more. if u’re keen to know me, do reply.

Is it bad if I am less repulsed by his being a creep than I am ghastly appalled by his going this far in life without the ability to grasp basic spelling and grammar rules? And what does he mean by ‘interesting’?

4. Take-off in T minus eight hours. As usual, I’m not done packing the one backpack I am taking with me, and as usual, I am shaking like a leaf out of pre-flight anxiety/excitement. There’s no sleep for the jittery tonight, folks.

Posted on July 14th, 2008 by Antiguit

Einstein postulated that only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity (and he’s not sure about the latter). Franklin suggested that the only two inevitable things in life are death and taxes. I’d like to add my name to this illustrious list of thinkers by suggesting a constant of my own: television spots for any national military in the world will recruit the tallest, most well-built, best-looking young people to portray life in fatigues.

I’m a fierce supporter of looking after the welfare of soldiers (and everybody knows how I loves me some men in uniform), but I’m not a big fan of recruitment methods at all. The ads they put on television are very glitzy and look more like a trailer for some new installment of Top Gun/Das Boot/The Dirty Dozen. Not once do these military spots mention the heavy emotional and mental taxes these young people have to pay upon being assigned a standard-issue rifle.

I’m not an idiot: I know in this day and age armed forces are nothing short of a necessity and PTSD as a result of combat stress is inevitable. But I wish governments would pay more attention to their men and women in camo after the scuffle is done. I wish governments would put more money into making sure their veterans come home to their families in the same mental state they were in when they were shipped off for duty. I wish military psychology was an area of study more people are looking into.

One of my favorite poems in the whole wide world is Wilfred Owen’s Dulce et Decorum Est. There’s a favorite poem for every gripe, I suppose.

Posted on July 13th, 2008 by Antiguit

When I’m sad, I look at this and everything is okay again. Other cool things: one, two, three,
four (tell me that you love me more). And while I’m in a musical mood, boom-dee-yadah!

(Television crisis! Season two of AMC’s Mad Men starts when I am going to be in Singapore, as will Discovery Channel’s Shark Week. I can only hope Discovery Asia will be airing an equally awesome Shark Week programme. I am nothing without Shark Week. I want to say it again. Shark Week. Shark Week. Shaaaaark Weeeeeek.)

So I fly out to Singapore in four days, and two disasters have already reared their ugly heads. First I had a hard time locating the whereabouts of my passport this morning, and then Thai Airlines sent me two e-tickets with two different flight dates. Both problems have been solved, and now to tackle another: packing. In the words of General Melchett, baaaaaaah.

Posted on July 11th, 2008 by Antiguit